The sun was low in the sky and the wind was cool but the asphalt was still warm from the spring sun.  The directions he had been given were terrible, leading him well into downtown Sacramento.  Turning around at the first exit he could find he breathlessly carried the near empty streets.  He was running late, it was almost 6:30 and he was supposed to be there at 6:15.  The game was starting, but he could careless; he wasn’t going for the game he was going to see her.  
He knew of her that was how he described their relationship.  He had met her over the internet about a week before.  So in truth he didn’t know her as much as he knew of her but none of that was really important now, those were the little memories you held onto to tell the children and grandchildren.  He pulled into a parking space to prepare for his hike to the restaurant.  The sleeves of his white Henley shirt flapped in the wind while his jeans clung tight to his legs.  The prayer beads suddenly felt tight around his wrist.  The knot in his stomach told him this wasn’t going to be an easy adventure, but in his experience very few were enjoyable.  He felt emboldened by his new found attraction by the opposite sex.  He had always found himself quite unattractive and was only recently beginning to see a shared desire from the fairer sex.

He moved quickly through the front door hoping to find a maitre d’ taking names.  Those hopes were quickly dashed as the burly man with a skin tight black shirt with Security printed across the back met him at the door. He was closer to a thug than a doorman but he told him there was no saving seats and to look for a table if he could find one.  So he cut to the left of the packed bar and was face to face with the first big screen TV.  Now he could see why this place was so popular on game night, there were at least four of them scattered throughout the place.

The bar had been broken into four rooms probably a holdover from days before California outlawed smoking inside.  He was in the largest section, they had somehow crammed in 40 or 50 people.  There was a sea of faces before him, how was he supposed to find hers?  He walked slowly hoping to make eye contact with the occasional woman.  He did a few times only to realize she was staring at the TV or some other man.  His first pass was disheartening, he didn’t see even the slightest glimmer recognition from anyone.  

As he came closer to the front of the door again, there was a new face standing by.  Her sandy-blonde hair was so perfect he had to be dyed.  Her was short and a better sight then the thug.  He wasn’t sure what she was doing at first but then he saw money changing hands. There was a cover and he was short on cash.   He had scrounged what he could to go out tonight, 15 bucks.  He paused and looked about; he could back the way he came but that was wasting time.  He kept his head down and moved past.  She glanced towards him and smiled as she hit up the next person through the door for ten bucks.  Slipping by unnoticed he felt lucky and began his second trip around the bar.  

Half way through his second trip, there was hope, he thought he spotted her.  The woman looked up at right at him, he was positive it was her.  But the look lasted only an instant before she looked away as if she didn’t recognize him.   Walking the rest of the way, through the bar and out the front, he felt emboldened again,  This time it wasn’t from a new found desire,  but from his effort to look less like the wounded eagle fluttering to the ground and more like the skilled hawk soaring the skies.  He might have been able to pull the look off a few moments ago but now he just felt like a chicken hawk denying the truth.  He slipped past the blond and though the people pushing and pulling their way to front door.

The new route to the mall was quickly carved.  He wanted to find something to do that would take up the hours till he was expected home.  Not ready to face the questions of what happened and why was he home so soon. Crossing the busy roadway, on his second attempt tonight to find parking, he found it easier.  There were less people turning, stopping, coming and going plus the mall had more room set aside for parking.  

At first joy leapt into his heart when he found one of his favorite little corners of the world, a book store.  Walking through its double doors styled classic look gave  the shop an old world feel.  Inspiration often came easily in a book store, being surrounded by the success of others gave him hope.  But today even this place was marred by his unhappiness.  He didn’t hold it against her though; he tried to sound cool and aloof saying only that he may come.
  She wasn’t even looking for him.  He was slowly once again beginning to come to terms with something told to him long ago;  he would die a bachelor.  It wasn’t a bad fate really, his world would simply be cluttered with friends and ex-lovers.  When he really thought about it he realized that was how he was happiest.  Moving through a private world, beholden to none and loved by many.  When he found himself looking at covers and titles he has seen before and still finding no inspiration, he left.  

Walking the few paces to the entrance of the Cineplex and surrounding diners he finally  picked a pizza parlor.  As he got closer to the front door he noticed a woman at a podium standing in a tie and waist coat.  The parlor seemed too posh for his momentary melancholy.   He continued on making a turn here and there to avoid the occasional patron ending his short journey.    

Standing at the entrance to the Cineplex, staring at its marquee wanting,  now his favorite joy getting the chance to be someone else for a few hours.  He didn’t want to be someone else all the time, he liked who he was and the adventures he had thus far in life.  From time to time it was nice to pretend to be the medieval warrior defeating the dragon, the handsome lover kissing his devotee, the modern soldier waging war, dying for a cause not fully known or understood.  Tonight he decided to be Bridget Jones, and read from her diary.  He was ripped from his world when in the middle of it all the sound ended and the theater went silent.  He was only slightly angered at this meaningless interruption. None the less he learned a lot about her life, he learned she made liberal use of the word fuck.  She was very neurotic and quite lovely to boot.  As the movie wound to a close he got up quickly leaving before other’s leaving could mar his experience.  

Leaving the movie house he began the trek back to his SUV when he noticed a store, odd in its combining of modern nuance with older grandeur.  He walked in and was immediately filled with the sweetest of music, and as he drifted back, the sounds began to change modern hip-hip to older melodies ones that had survived the falling of empires and the raising of new ones.  Effortlessly moving back to the front of the store he once again was assaulted by the melodies of hip-hop.  Seeing stairs he dashed up them hoping for a reprieve from its wanton grasp.  Now he was in a domain he could enjoy.  A room filled from head to toe with movies.  Out of the corner of his eye he noticed a bank of televisions showing various movies.  He walked under the inept gaze  of the clerk towards the display and started to watch a humorous new take on the right stuff.  Leaving his momentary grasp on heroism, he walked on making eye contact with the clerk, forcing him to look away from the female customer he was soon going to be flirting with in an effort to appear to be working.  Moving on past the games, past the porn.  He found himself staring at posters, thirty or so of them, wondering what treasures he might find hidden in there fanned case.  He found a few scantily clad ladies, a couple pictures of beer, but not one treasure to behold.  Continuing on he found himself at the doors and once again on the brink of a journey many before had taken the only real question was, did he have the courage to follow in the steps of those who came before him.